Multiplication Center

Dave Foster: Ode to a Good Marriage

May 2, 2011

My big learning: No marriage, no ministry
– Bad marriage, bad ministry
– Boring marriage, boring ministry Your marriage means everything to your ability to go out and lead, develop and make your mark on the world. Ministry brings unique pressure to marriage.
In retreats with ministers/leaders and their wives Constant theme:
– Burned out
– Bitter
– Upset
– Lost passion
– Drifted apart

If you lose your marriage you lose your effectiveness, job and ministry. As your marriage goes, as the marriages in your organization or church go, The rest of everything you get to do goes.
Bad Marriage = Bad church = Bad minister= Bad Leadership

We are supposed to model what we teach – Supposed to have amazing relationships that last and get better and better – Challenges we face causes us to ignore that core relationship. -No one marries a boring person not having fun

Number one thing: Married couples get married on the same page up
– Then separate and go different ways
– Wind up not on the same page
– Your spouse is just submitting/giving in/feeling guilty
– God brings another dynamic – you’re going against God

Grow your marriage, get stronger, more transparent to people around you, marriage where you are having fun. Other learning: Fun marriage, fun ministry Great marriage, great ministry You can learn leadership skills; you can recover from failure, stupid mistakes or a bad hire…But you cannot fully recover ever from a lost marriage.

Discussion Questions:
1. Do you agree that your marriage determines your ministry? Why or why not?
2. Evaluate the kind of influence you have (positive or negative) based on your marriage.

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