Generation to Generation by Edwin Friedman, a rabbi. He helped me get a handle on leadership. Leadership is not as much about setting an organizational agenda as it is about being head of a body. In a congregation, a pastor is accorded the title of headship. Have to align body with head. If the head can stay connected to the body, sooner or later the body will align itself to the head. How do you stay connected to a group of people who are actively pushing against what you are asking them to do? If you have any tenderness about your spirit, you will wind up with a really wounded spirit. Even resentful of your congregation. As a pastoral leader you must differentiate yourself from your congregation. The way you differentiate is by articulating your values and goals. If they are derived from Christ and Biblically based If your goals proceed from your values, sooner or later they will accept your headship, if you can stay connected to them. If patient, loving, and kind, they will be able to lead their people through periods of reluctance because they see he truly cares for them, and has their best interest at heart. They come to respect him as a person. They embrace the pastor’s views, values, and goals. Stay connected with lots of love. Stay connected emotionally. Yet explain what and why of values, what the goals are, and how they are related to the values at every opportunity. Then headship becomes leadership.
1. How do you keep from disconnecting from the body when you are wounded or resentful?
2. In your ministry style, do you focus on leadership first, then headship, or headship first, then leadership?